omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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