physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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