I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
being pregnant is like rehab
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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