True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
