Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
