it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
