i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
