that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
