HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
