If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
