yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
