OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
