Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
