Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
