I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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