Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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