Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
