Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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