he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm at about main and main street
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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