i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
