; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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