does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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