so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize