i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
