Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize