just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize