I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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