Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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