Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick

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(517): View more from Michigan

sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"

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(765): View more from Indiana

He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"

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(952): View more from Minnesota

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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(727): View more from Florida

My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?

(303): View more from Colorado

Threesome!

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