Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
