Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
