Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
