When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
