You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
be right there i have to get my cape
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
