So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
