no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
