his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
