Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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