I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
