There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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