guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I currently don't understand fingers.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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