She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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