How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
