ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
