He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
