I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
