Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
