He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
