He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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