I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
