You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
