2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
