Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We need a shit load of segways right now
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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