Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
