The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a beard to bite.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
