You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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