I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
