I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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