Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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